Until IT happened.
In my darkest moment, I heard The Voice.
It was like this foreign downloaded communication where there were no words but I swear I heard it clearer than anything I've ever heard audibly. The words hit me like a jab to my soul that somehow..
g a v e I t b a c k l I g h t.
It said: "If you can't find the silver lining, then become it."
Where did it come from? There is no way that thought came from me but it was everything I needed to hear in that very moment.
It felt like someone sat next to me on my dark and dingy bedroom floor, reached into my chest and somehow grabbed the darkness from within it.
That was one of the largest inflection points of my life.
It was as if this small ember inside of me had ignited..
but I still didn't understand what I had to do. I remember wiping my tears on the sleeve of my shirt that had already been previously soaked, pulling myself up by the hanging blankets covering my bed and taking what felt to be my first breaths.
I was exhausted and so unhappy but for once, I had faith, I had belief and I had a realization that there was no place lower than rockbottom so anything at this point had to be better.
I made a decision
right there in that very moment that I was no longer going to give my power away..
I was going to be okay.
Have you ever been in a place where you just felt like
e n o u g h w a s e n o u g h ?
I wish I could say it was all butterflies and roses from that moment on but it wasn't.
I woke up everyday at 4:30 in the morning to work while my children slept and went to bed at damn near midnight every night for 4 months.
I was completely depleted.
I couldn't tell you how many Youtube videos I've watch or how many books I've read but I was READY, OPEN + WILLING. I plugged away day by day, every moment I had a chance and I did it. I was bringing in new paying clients!
I learned the good, the bad and the ugly from all of my mistakes along the way and what I do is I CUT OUT all of the roadblocks so that your journey doesn't have to be as exhausting as mine.
I am at the point where I am loving every moment and truly IN LOVE with my life.
I am living the life of my dreams, I own a beautiful home with my children and cross eyed cat. I own my dream car, I make an impact everyday, I am present in my community and I have the freedom to travel as I please!